so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
