So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
