Just fell off a train. Bad.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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