yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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