he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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