i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
