Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
