You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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