I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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