So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
