Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
