I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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