at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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