wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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