this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
