At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
