butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
