my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
