i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm at about main and main street
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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