oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
