Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
