fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
