Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
