Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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