i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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