yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
