What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
