The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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