You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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