halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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