I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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