I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
