38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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