Having a random hookup so left but love u
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
