do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
