I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
operation harelip BJ is a go
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
