The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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