i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
