How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize