What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
