if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
