Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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