I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Houston, we have a squirter
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
