i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
