she was so not down for the gang bang
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
