come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
