Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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