So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Holy sore nipples Batman
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
