and you said cock pushups were impossible
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
