What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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