I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
