What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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