I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
