yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
A+ Viking dick
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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