i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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