I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
