My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
