I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
