Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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