I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
