We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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