they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
