i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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