im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
