Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
