OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
